It is unlikely that any of the parents wants to be angry, annoyed and yell at their child.
Most likely, this happens at the moment when we see no other way out, do not know how to influence otherwise, and, as a result, we simply run out of patience.
“Yes, my strength is gone!” - Have you heard this phrase? Maybe they even said it themselves more than once?
We explode much faster when we are tired, have not had enough sleep, are busy in parallel with some difficult, urgent and important business, or simply want to eat. There is no more strength ... Then a flash of anger or a fit of irritation happens, the mood deteriorates, and now there is a quarrel in the house.
But when you feel rested, calm, happy, in a good mood, even unpleasant things cannot piss you off and cause only a smile.
▪️Why is it important for moms to take care of themselves?
You have probably heard more than once about the oxygen mask on the plane, which you need to put on yourself first, and only then - on the child? Taking care of yourself while you are in charge of others is a real necessity that has nothing to do with unhealthy selfishness. After all, if you are exhausted and tired, then there may simply be no one to take care of your child.
If you want to experience irritation and anger less often and improve the quality of interaction with your child, then one of the most important things you can do is to be more attentive to yourself, recuperate in time and keep the mental (and body!) resource at an acceptable level.
▪️How can a mother recuperate?
1. Try to get as much sleep as possible. Sometimes it is better to postpone even the most interesting activity and devote this time to sleep. And certainly some household chores can wait if you feel like you need to sleep.
2. Walk outdoors. Try to keep track of your diet - eat on time, do not go hungry, drink enough water, and take vitamins if necessary. Postpone diets until better times if they are exhausting and have no medical indications. You need strength.
3. Visit the doctor on time! This item does not look pleasant, but it is necessary to maintain the health and resource of your body and psyche. Plan this visit in advance if it is difficult to choose the time, and be sure to complete it.
4. Take care of moral rest: remember what inspires you, allows you to be distracted and include in your life. Maybe it's a visit to an exhibition, a movie, a café with good friends, or a walk in the park alone with a glass of your favorite coffee.
Perhaps you can relax in a bath or a hot shower, or you can do aromatherapy, yoga, or meditation.
5. Many will prefer creativity: drawing (and it doesn’t matter if you have the ability - you can choose intuitive drawing with paints or sand), embroidery, knitting, felting from wool or folding origami, making dolls or homemade soap. The spectrum is huge. You can choose the option to your liking, even if you are not assiduous and impulsive.
6. Sports will be a good and useful outlet. For jogging in the park, you do not need to buy a subscription to an expensive fitness club, and you can do gymnastics at home, while your child is sleeping. There are even “passive gymnastics” exercises with conscious breathing that you can do while walking.
Choose options based on your capabilities and desires. Be sure to make time for these helpful activities.
▪️What to do if there is no time at all?
It is clear that there are difficult situations when there is no one to help with a child, and finding even ten minutes seems like an unaffordable luxury: what kind of exhibitions, sports and creativity are there!
If this is the case for you, give your child a book or toys, let go of worries and worries for a while and try to find at least five to ten minutes alone with a cup of hot tea. Live this time enjoying the moment, without looking at your phone, with slow breathing - focus on yourself.
You will be surprised how much such short pauses and “let the whole world wait” can give you.
Yours, Emma Wiliiams
High School, Psychologist, Canada
Comments