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Personal boundaries of the child. How do adults violate them? 🙌🏼

Updated: Jul 4, 2023


Personal boundaries of a child are the limits and spaces that children establish to feel safe, respected, and maintain their autonomy. Adults can inadvertently or intentionally violate these boundaries in various ways. Here are some common examples:


📍Physical boundaries: Adults may violate a child's physical boundaries by engaging in unwanted or inappropriate touching, such as hugging, tickling, or invading their personal space without their consent. This violation can range from unintentional actions due to a lack of awareness to deliberate acts of abuse.


📍Emotional boundaries: Children have a right to their own feelings, thoughts, and emotions. Adults can violate emotional boundaries by dismissing or belittling a child's emotions, ignoring their needs for emotional support, or coercing them into expressing emotions they are uncomfortable with. Invalidating a child's feelings or consistently disregarding their emotional well-being can breach their boundaries.


📍Intellectual boundaries: Children should have the freedom to explore their own thoughts, beliefs, and interests. Adults may infringe on intellectual boundaries by imposing their opinions, beliefs, or expectations on children, disregarding their individuality and stifling their intellectual growth. This could manifest as pressuring the child to adopt certain viewpoints or dismissing their ideas as invalid or irrelevant.


📍Privacy boundaries: Children have the right to privacy and personal space. Adults can violate privacy boundaries by intruding on a child's personal belongings, reading their diaries or personal messages, or invading their privacy without a legitimate reason. This breach of privacy can lead to feelings of mistrust and an erosion of the child's sense of autonomy.


📍Time boundaries: Children require time for themselves, engaging in activities they enjoy or simply being alone. Adults may violate time boundaries by over-scheduling a child's activities without considering their needs for rest, relaxation, or free time. This can result in the child feeling overwhelmed, stressed, and robbed of their own agency.


📍Boundaries related to personal choices: Children should have the ability to make age-appropriate decisions and have their choices respected. Adults can violate these boundaries by dismissing or ridiculing a child's choices, forcing them into activities they do not wish to participate in, or denying them the right to express their preferences and opinions.


It is crucial for adults to be mindful of these boundaries, respect a child's autonomy, and establish open lines of communication to ensure that their actions and behaviors align with the child's well-being and development.


Yours, Melissa Gray

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