A child has two basic psychological needs. If these needs are satisfied, then it is much easier to negotiate with the child, he meets you halfway, becomes more accommodating and obedient. If they are not satisfied, then the child will try to get what he lacks by any means. These are whims, and stubbornness, and tantrums - all the behavior that adults call “bad”.
Psychological need of a child is for attention and emotional contact with significant adults.
It is important for a child to feel that he is loved, that you accept him for who he is. It is important for him to feel that his parents are pleased with him, that they are connected with him by an invisible spiritual thread.
Spend time with your child during the day when you play with him what he wants. At the same time, do not teach or correct the child. Try not to be distracted during this time. Let the child feel that you are completely with him. What matters is not the amount of time spent with the child, but its quality.
- Say kind, affectionate words to him just like that, for no reason.
– Praise him for his efforts LOUD.
- Thank you for your help.
- Hug the child, stroke his head, pick him up more often (if he is small).
All this will help the child feel your positive attention and emotional connection with you.
Yours, Lili Petit
Preschool teacher, International Children's Centre, France.
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