The child lies and deceives. What to do?

Many parents are faced with the fact that the child tells lies - lies and deceives.

As a rule, the reaction of parents to such behavior is to scold, shame, punish the child.

But once you begin to understand why your child lies and cheats, then you can help him change his behavior and become more honest. The key word here is "help". Not to force, not to force, but to help the child not to lie and deceive, but to tell you the truth.

▪️Reasons why a child lies and deceives

If we begin to figure out why the child lies and deceives, we will see that he is just the same afraid of punishments, screams and the fact that he will be scolded. It's kind of a vicious circle. The more we scold the child for lying, the more he will hide the truth from us in the future. What is the way out of this?

Children, as a rule, find quite logical reasons to hide the truth - they want to avoid unpleasant consequences for themselves, they do not want to disappoint their parents, they do not want to listen to screams and hourly moralizing.

It is hard for a child not to lie when he knows for sure that a very unpleasant outcome awaits him for the truth. Therefore, understanding all these reasons, we need to create such conditions in the family so that the child can easily tell us everything as it is.

Once again, when we punish children for lying, they continue to lie in the hope of avoiding any punishment in the future. The following nine tips will help you build more trust in your relationship with your child. They will help you establish a climate in the family in which it will be easy for children to tell the truth.

Just please be patient and understand that the situation cannot change quickly. It takes time for trust to grow between you again. Be patient and consistent.

▪️9 tips to help your child not lie and tell the truth:

1. Remain calm and respond appropriately to the misconduct of the child

2. Do not provoke a child to lie and deceive

3. Try to understand why the child is lying and telling lies

4. Tag your child for honesty

5. Explain to your child that mistakes are opportunities to learn.

6. Show your child your unconditional love and support

7. Set the Right Example

8. Don't label your child as "cheater" or "liar"

9. Never complain to other people about your child cheating on you.

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Yours, Lili Petit

Preschool teacher, International Children's Centre, France